Shaping: According to Cooper, Heron, and Heward, shaping is defined as using differential reinforcement to produce a series of gradually changing response classes (2007). Or to put it in terms more easily understood, shaping is reinforcing/rewarding better and better behavior until we see the behavior we want (target behavior). We shape behaviors when the target or end result is difficult. For example, we are teaching a child to say "cookie", we may start by teaching them "co" and reinforcing that. We then continue to reinforce closer and closer "approximations" to cookie until the child can say the whole word. Shaping is a great technique to break things down so kids can reach reinforcement and learn new skills. However...sometimes we inadvertently shape behaviors we may not want to teach our child.
This post might seem totally counterintuitive but it’s important. There are going to be some days when we just don’t have it in us to follow the perfect behavior plan. We’re low on sleep, we've got a lot on our minds, etc. It's okay...
If you need to give in … give in. Just do it early and with a plan to get back on it tomorrow. We’ve all been at the end of our rope and we just can’t take it. On those days, when your child is throwing those monster tantrums and you’re not able to manage it “correctly”, it’s okay to accept that you’re not going to be that rock solid behavior changer. Here’s how to do it without undoing all of your previous hard work:
Accept it and make "giving in" your plan. This will change the "reactive" responses into a more proactive response.
Give in early. For example, your toddler asks for chicken nuggets for breakfast and you tell him no. He starts to whine which is ultimately going to lead to a knock down, drag out fight. Just say “okay you can have chicken nuggets” as soon as he starts whining.
Know that doing this today may temporarily make your next morning a bit more difficult. Hopefully by then you're feeling better and can get back into the swing of things.
This probably all still seems strange right? BUT...this is why you give in early: the longer you hold out, and then you give in, you’ve taught the child that they need to amp themselves up to that level before you’ll reinforce them. In behavior terms, you’ve shaped the behavior. Typically, we want to shape behavior, but not in this way.
Say you thought you could hold out but turns out you couldn’t and gave in that late … hey, it was just once and tomorrow will be better. If you are having a hard time staying strong on a regular basis and nothing seems to be working, reach out! We’re happy to consult!
Cooper, J., Heron, T. and Heward, W., 2007. Applied behavior analysis. 2nd ed. Upper Saddle River, Nj: Pearson.
Comments